“Hard Silver” — Free Download for Nook & Kindle!

Free for e-Book Readers!
Free for your e-book reader!

Subterranean Magazine editor Bill Schafer has made the Winter 2013 issue available as a free download in ePUB and Mobi format (that covers Nook, Kindle, & most other e-book readers). You can also download the Fall 2012 issue here.  This is a bodaciously cool thing for Bill to do!

Even more bodacious (and more cool), the Winter 2013 issue contains my dark fantasy/western novella “Hard Silver,” so I’m even more stoked.

Go thou and do likewise.

Supercut Request #1

A supercut is a video remix that compiles similar scenes from several films. For instance, here is a supercut of scenes of Claire Danes crying:

Supercuts can also reference a single movie, as with this supercut of every utterance the word “dude” in The Big Lebowski:

One of the things I like about supercuts is that they can point out cliches that are everywhere in films (endess instances of “I’ve got a bad feeling about this,” “I’m too old for this shit,” etc.), weird quirks or consistencies of actors or directors (every Schwarzenegger scream, Bruce Willis looking confused, Michael Bay’s circling cameras), or crass stupidities (too many to note here).

There are several supercuts I’d love to see someone put together. (I know I could do it myself, but I’m too damn lazy busy to acquire all the scenes for supercuts I’d like to see, much less learn whatever video software I’d need to edit them together).

raiders01First up is Supercuts of Scenes of Women Treating Injured Men (Especially When Followed by Kissing). One such scene in the utterly predictable Christian Bale/Mark Wahlberg vehicle The Fighter made me think this supercut needs to be done. I don’t think it takes a lot of effort for most of us to come up with an embarrassing number of such scenes. One of the more famous (and one of the best) is from Raiders of the Lost Ark. I’d suggest more, but thinking of them is half the fun.

Feel free to offer up supercuts you’d like to see, or links to existing supercuts you like.

Always carry a spare

Spam in a can
Escape Pod (detached)

I saw one of these parked on the side of the road today. At first I couldn’t account for it, at least not in any rational way.

But then I realized that the latest monster SUVs — maybe the Ford Excretion, or the Cadillac Escalate — are now equipped with escape pods.

Think of it! In the event of accident or catastrophic failure, the sophisticated computer brain of the SUV seals the driver super-snug in this little emergency capsule, and then huffs him out of its injured behemoth body like last night’s burrito.

Imagine the relief of the driver! Having escaped some vehicular calamity, he may now cautiously navigate amid traffic in relative safety, until help or an actual vehicle can be summoned.

There must be a built-in GPS transponder for search & rescue. Maybe even a remote control in case the driver is incapacitated. Flares and MRE packets and even a signal mirror.

A disposable vehicle! Truly we live in an age of marvels.

So how’s your 2013 so far?