Always carry a spare

Spam in a can
Escape Pod (detached)

I saw one of these parked on the side of the road today. At first I couldn’t account for it, at least not in any rational way.

But then I realized that the latest monster SUVs — maybe the Ford Excretion, or the Cadillac Escalate — are now equipped with escape pods.

Think of it! In the event of accident or catastrophic failure, the sophisticated computer brain of the SUV seals the driver super-snug in this little emergency capsule, and then huffs him out of its injured behemoth body like last night’s burrito.

Imagine the relief of the driver! Having escaped some vehicular calamity, he may now cautiously navigate amid traffic in relative safety, until help or an actual vehicle can be summoned.

There must be a built-in GPS transponder for search & rescue. Maybe even a remote control in case the driver is incapacitated. Flares and MRE packets and even a signal mirror.

A disposable vehicle! Truly we live in an age of marvels.

So how’s your 2013 so far?


4 Replies to “Always carry a spare”

  1. I started writing again. Actual, novel-shaped writing. Feels good. Should have resumed the habit sooner.

    I’m also on Day Three of self-imposed guitar practice. We’ll see where that leads.

  2. Years ago, and I can’t Google though I’ve been trying for 15 minutes (sick, google-fu bad) Mad Magazine had a feature for uses for a Mini (the original, not the new thing). And at least one was a spare in the back of the Bentley/Roller. So I saw this and had to ROFL.

    Thank you for a good start to the year.

    1. Good ol’ Mad Magazine! I devoured them as a kid — they permanently warped my thinking. Thank god.

      If I had a Rolls, I’d have a bumper sticker that said My Other Car is a Spare. But if I had a Mini, I’d have a bumper sticker that said My Other Car is Real.

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